What does it mean to grow up in an always-connected world today? According to the new OECD report “How’s Life for Children in the Digital Age ?” The answer is anything but simple. The report offers a nuanced picture of how digital technologies are shaping—and putting pressure on—children’s lives.

Children are exposed to screens at an increasingly early age. By the age of 10, 70% already own a smartphone. By 15, digital access is almost universal, with an average of 30 to 60 hours of screen time per week. However, the large differences between countries – and between children within the same country – make it clear that digital inequality starts early.

And then there is the big question: what does that do to their well-being?

The OECD dissects the impact in different domains. There are clear benefits: digital technology offers opportunities for learning, creation, social contacts and even emotional support. Especially for girls and young people with a migration background, digital tools sometimes prove to be a way to express themselves and connect. But the risks are just as real. Think of sleep deprivation, problematic use, cyberbullying, and increased feelings of anxiety or social pressure – often amplified in vulnerable groups such as girls, young people from single-parent families or children from lower socio-economic backgrounds.

The report mustn’t descend into doom and gloom. It emphasises that “screen time” as a concept means little. What children do, with whom, and in what context makes all the difference. A child who learns to code online is one thing, and a child who scrolls for hours at night to escape negative feelings.

The message is clear: policy should not focus on prohibition, but on guidance. Parents, teachers, governments and the technology companies themselves bear responsibility. And yes, that requires a “whole-of-society” approach. One that protects and inspires confidence at the same time. One that addresses risks, but also takes children’s voices seriously. One that does not blindly sail on moral panic, but invests in data and long-term research. Because many of the current studies are still too correlational, too fragmented or too superficial.

The OECD concludes with an important nuance: digital media are rarely the sole cause of well-being problems, but they can be an amplifier. That does not make the topic less important—on the contrary. If we want to help children thrive in a digital world, we must not only reduce screen time but also give them time and space to shape their own place in that world.

Or as one of the young people in a participatory study put it: “I want to be protected, but not excluded.”