In a new, recently published study, Sophie Arnold and colleagues investigated how and why boys and girls negotiate differently from an early age. Using three studies with 462 children between the ages of six and twelve, the authors investigated how perceptions and self-images contribute to negotiation behaviour and how these patterns are shaped in childhood. The research used a combination of hypothetical scenarios and live negotiations to unravel these questions. What do they find? Boys ask for more than girls at a young age (structurally, but not because they are objectively better or more assertive). The core lies in how children see themselves and the situation.

In girls, the extent to which they feel competent is a crucial predictor of how much they dare to ask in a negotiation. Boys, on the other hand, showed that they rely much more on social expectations: they ask for more when they think it is socially acceptable, that they will not get adverse reactions, or that it will yield more anyway. A striking detail is that boys structurally overestimate their competence, allowing them to act more assertively. Conversely, girls estimate their competence more realistically, which sometimes puts a brake on their willingness to negotiate.

The researchers suspect that education and parenthood play crucial roles in how children negotiate. It is important to encourage girls at a young age to recognize their competence and see assertiveness as something positive. For boys, it can help to stimulate realistic self-reflection so that overconfidence does not turn into unrealistic expectations.

This research shows that the gender pay gap may not have emerged out of nowhere in later life. Gender norms and social perceptions start to play out early, shaping behaviour fundamentally. By disrupting these patterns in childhood, we can create a more level playing field. The key lies in how we teach children to see themselves and their worth.

Abstract of the study:

Women tend to negotiate less than men, which—along with other well-documented interpersonal and structural factors—contributes to persistent gender gaps in pay for equal work. Here, we explore the developmental origins of these gender differences in negotiation. Across three studies (N = 462), we investigated 6- to 12-year-old girls’ and boys’ perceptions of negotiation (e.g., how common and permissible it is to negotiate) and gave children opportunities to negotiate for resources themselves. These opportunities were hypothetical in Studies 1 and 2 and actual in Study 3. Overall, girls and boys had similar perceptions of negotiation. However, the links between perceptions and negotiation behavior often differed by gender, especially in the context of an actual negotiation (Study 3). Boys’—but not girls’—negotiation requests were higher when they thought that (a) other children asked for more, (b) it was permissible to ask for more, (c) they would not receive backlash for asking for more, and (d) asking for more would actually get them more. In contrast, girls’ negotiation requests were uniquely predicted by how competent they thought they were at the task for which they negotiated a reward—that is, how deserving they thought they were. Notably, boys overestimated their competence (both relative to girls and relative to reality) and negotiated for more resources as a result. Understanding the early origins of gender differences in negotiation provides insight into how to prevent the emergence of such differences and dismantle persistent gender inequities in society.